Today was a day that involved lots of dwelling on these things. I didn't have a specific plan for the day which is never good for me. When I get in this type of mood I am never really up for hanging around a lot of people, but I usually try to anyway. Well tonight was like that. I went and watched the UK game with a group of friends at the B. I ended up spending half of that time texting with one of my good friends who goes to EKU. We were talking about life and everything that had been going on with me and everything that I was worrying and stressing about. She is such an encouragement and so easy to talk to. Talking with her about it made me realize how much it was really effecting my life though.
When the game was over, I left without saying much to anybody and when driving to try and clear my head, there is just something about being in my car with the windows down and worship music playing that relaxes me. Tonight, like many of the times that I have gone driving, I ended up on the swings at the park. It is one of my places that I just feel comfortable and content. I love it! Parks are amazing. I just sat on the swing, cried, prayed, and thought about everything. It was so awesome.
Even thought I spend time tonight at the park and driving around, crying and praying I am still so confused about things and worried and stressed, but I feel better about things. I am no where near where I need to be with trusting God with everything, but I am trying to so hard. I think that I have just reached that place in my life where things are changing or are getting ready to change in major ways and I am not ready for it and I am trying to fight it instead of let God use me in it and guide me through it.
I feel like I jumped around a lot, but I feel better just writing stuff out, even if it doesn't make sense to anyone besides me.
No comments:
Post a Comment