Doors - 1/30/09

So God is opening and closing some doors in my life and this scares me.

I am trying to figure out what I will be doing this summer. After my trip of Winter Break, I knew that I really wanted to spend more time in the city I had been in, and I knew that it was a possibility that I could go back for the summer. I honestly didn't even think that going back would be possible.

I had applied to work for an amazing program for the summer. I didn't know if I had been accepted to work there, but I had felt that was where God was leading me to go, until he closed that door today.

Then there is the fact that I have applied to work at HOBY again(for the 3rd year) and I am basically guaranteed a position there. When I was looking at summer possibilities, all of the ones I considered allowed me to be free for the 5 days that this seminar takes place. At this point in time though, I feel that God doesn't want me to be here.

Money is another issue. I sent out letters to be able to go on the trip over Winter Break and I have a hard time even considering sending out letters again, but I know that there is funding available from my church here in BG, my church at home, summer missions scholarships, and other places, that would greatly help with the cost. So now I don't really feel that this should even be considered a major issue.

My parents are a big issue as well. They were not huge fans of my first trip, I am fairly certain that they wouldn't be fans of a 6 week summer trip. This is something I need to talk with them about and I know it.

I am having a really hard time with this. I feel called, but am really scared to take the step through the door and make a commitment. Please just pray for me and that I do what truly is God's will.